💛 Hey friend,
A few weeks ago I wrote to you about the value of claiming your voice – and more specifically, why I've started making my clients talk (not type) to their AI.
A lot of you responded to that one and it was clear it struck an interesting chord.
(...Nerds 🤓)
Then I spent a few days facilitating a retreat for dozens top-tier founders, and saw again how much this issue impacts ambitious people and their teams.
So I wanted to follow up with a second piece about why this is so damn important, how failing to address it is holding you back, and something tactical you can do to fix it.
We’ll get into all of it…
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Joy Tour Update
Sunday’s brunch + beach walk in LA raised more than $2,000 for the Trevor Project, and I’m so effing stoked.
We had an incredible group. More than half a dozen in all, including my long-time friend and client, Laurie Parres, who’s an award-winning writer and the founder of Words Delivered; Jay Manheimmer, founder of Sunnyfide (this badass surf gear); Gillian Ruan, a former facilitator at Mattel who now leads breakthrough workshops for creative companies, and more.
A huge, huge, heartfelt thank you to everyone who joined. The goal was to raise money, raise awareness, and spread joy, and we did all three. Thank you 💛
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In A Room Full Of Ambitious Founders, Here’s The Hidden Problem Capping Growth
I just spent a few days leading a retreat for dozens of incredible Hampton founders down in Austin.
If you don’t know of it yet, Hampton is a peer group for high-growth entrepreneurs. Everyone in the community has built a company doing at least $3M in revenue, and that makes for a unique set of personalities when it comes to facilitation (see: cowboy hats and western garb below).
Coming out of this one, someone asked me, “In a room like that, full of successful founders, what's the hidden pattern you keep seeing that's quietly capping growth?”
Easy.
Even very successful founders are often un-practiced in the crucial art of saying what they want OUT LOUD.
It’s the biggest unlock for anyone trying to make major breakthroughs. And the best of the best invest in learning it.
Here’s Why This Actually Matters
Okay, yes. There’s the very basic problem that if you can’t say what you want out loud – clearly and without couching your language – your team will waste a lot of time trying to guess what the hell you’re after.
But the problem goes so much deeper than that.
Because even if you don’t talk to a single direct report (dreams), you need to be voicing your desires for the simple reason that when your brain hears you say something out loud, it processes it differently and more powerfully than when you simply think it.
The difference is literally physical.
When you speak, the resonance in your vocal chords stimulates the vagal nerve – a nerve that runs from the floor of your pelvis all the way to your brain.
No other sound in the world does that. Not other people’s voices, and not your own internal dialogue.
So when you say the thing you desire out loud, you’re actually downloading the truth of that in your nervous system in a way that only the power of your voice can. If you’re not practicing that skill, you’re missing out on significant benefits both personally and professionally
There's Something Else Going On, Too…
Most of us have spent years learning to say what we think other people want to hear – and to deliver it in a way that makes us look good.
So when we speak, we deliver a performance of our answers, right down to our facial expressions, trying to optimize for the impression we hope to give someone else, rather than embodying the truth we're actually carrying.
If you do that long enough you will sever your ability to know, sense, and share your truth.
👆 Read that again. It hits hard right?
If you’ve ever seen me facilitate live, you’ll know what I’m about to say is true: I don’t give a flying fuck what my face looks like when I’m leading a room . It never even crosses my mind. I can’t let it.
My entire focus, my deep purpose, is being completely present for the people around me – on holding space, and on serving the transformation that’s taking place in the room.
That’s where we need you to be too. For the sake of your vision, your humanity, and for your team.
Bottom Line...
Fixing this doesn’t have to be complicated. You can start with the same exercise I led those Hampton founders through.
First, I got buy-in (the best leaders get consent before doing bold sh*t in group sessions) and asked everyone to close their eyes.
When your eyes are closed, you stop performing, and you start hearing your words and actually connect to what's coming out of your mouth.
Then, I asked them to speak (not perform) the answers to important questions, like:
- What's the last thing you really screwed up?
- What's the thing you know you've been getting wrong lately?
- Who's the last person you hurt because of your own shortcomings as a leader?
Hot tip: Close your eyes even if you’re alone – especially when you’re alone. There’s no better opportunity to hear yourself say the realest shit out loud then when you are alone. The solitude allows you to strengthen your GNFM™️ (give no fucks muscle). |
Starting with these truths – the tough ones – makes it easier to be honest with ourselves about the smaller things that come forward in our day-to-day interactions.
Make a habit of this.
You should hear your own voice, speaking the truth of what you want on a regular basis.
Because if it’s not your voice that you and your team are hearing regularly, that only leaves one other option: Someone else’s.
💛Angela
Last Thing...
Huge Shout-Out To My Team
This week marked the end of an absolute whirlwind that spanned Lisbon, to Austin, to LA in about as many weeks.
I couldn’t have done it without my amazing team, and I want to take a moment to thank them.
Here’s a photo we snapped in Austin. To my left are Alissa Lukovics and Kayla Jennings-Rivera, two of my full-time gangsters here at AMP Leadership.
Alissa is our learning expert and helps design all of our curriculum, single-handedly watching every move I make when I’m leading rooms in-person. Her support is incredibly meaningful, and she makes it possible for me to deliver at the highest level.
Kayla designs experiences all over the world for our clients, managing every detail to ensure that the environment is thoughtfully curated from start to finish, making people feel safe, and allowing them to go to the edge of their comfort zone where real growth can happen.
On my other side are Marissa Heckman, Thalia Ramos, and David Sherry (yes the iconic founder coach), all of whom run their own businesses, and are students in my Art of Facilitation Academy, who stepped in to help showrun the Hampton event.
Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you. You’re f*cking legends 💛
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